Every film fan has spent some time thinking about what would happen if their life was turned into a movie. I like to think that the film version of my life would be a quirky indie romantic comedy with an emotional punch (that sounds like a category Netflix would recommend for me) like Garden State or the not depressing parts of (500) Days of Summer, all directed by John Hughes. In reality it would probably be more like Requiem for a Dream without the drug use or Revolutionary Road without Leo. For today’s 40 Days of Blogging post I have decided to cast which actresses would play me in the different stage of my life, if my life was interesting enough to become a film. If you know me you can see how accurate you think my casting is and if you don’t know me this is a good way learn more about the (wo)man behind the curtain.
1.) Young me: Amanda Bynes during her All That days
Since my parents worked far from home when I was younger I spent much of my time after school at my babysitter’s house. There I could be found directing the younger children in skits or dance routines or making up my own commercials to sell whatever products I could find around me. (Looks like I had a passion for the media industry my whole life.) My babysitter used to say that I reminded her of Amanda Bynes and I have to agree. Before her very public mental breakdown (I still worry about her), Bynes was a precocious and very funny child actor. She would be able to capture the charisma and creativity of my youth, before it was all sucked away.
Runner up: The Olsen twins. They we’re less funny, but equally cute. I actually looked like I could have been a missing Olsen twin when I was really young.
2.) Teenage me: Alexis Bledel as Chilton Rory Gilmore
This casting is half wish, half truth. While I am nowhere near as smart as Rory Gilmore (then again who is?), Alexis Bledel would be perfect to play me in high school because she was a cool nerd before being a nerd was cool. Like Rory I spent most of my time in high school studying too much, preferring books to people, and spending time with my family. Honestly nothing’s really changed since then. There is also no one else who else could capture my fast paced and pop cultured laced way of speaking.
Runner up: Hilary Duff as Lizzie McGuire because shes’s really cute at being awkward even though I’m just…really awkward.
3.) Current me: Aubrey Plaza
Having seen Safety Not Guaranteed and even just from watching only a few episodes of Parks and Rec I can say there is no one better suited to play me at this stage of my life than Aubrey Plaza. She is the girl who uses her cynicism as a shield because she doesn’t want anyone to know that deep down she’s actually a good person. We have the same sense of humor and her deadpan delivery would be perfect for portraying my high level of sarcasm. The best part is, she’s half Puerto Rican and you would never know it, just like me.
Runner up Not an option: People tell me I look like Jessica Biel. I do not look Jessica Biel, nor will she ever play me in a movie. Although she does have that whole JT thing going for her…
4.) Future me: Tina Fey as Liz Lemon
Sometimes when I watch 30 Rock, I am scared at how much of myself I see in Liz Lemon, both good and bad. But let’s face it, growing up to be Tina Fey is never really a bad thing. She’s hilarious, successful, has an awesome and equally funny BFF (and yes Amy Poehler would totally play my sister even though she’s 3 years younger), AND she’s hosted the Golden Globes twice now. Lemon may not have it all together and she may eat some questionable food combinations, but her off-beat, self deprecating sense of humor will lend a funny future for me to aspire to.
Runner up: Really really future me will hopefully be cool enough to be played by Meryl Streep. Like The Devil Wears Prada Meryl Streep, a total BAMF at life.