I’m Not That Girl: ‘Once Upon a Time’ 3.16

So I know no one is actually going to read this since Game of Thrones season 4 premieres tonight, but I will write nonetheless because there is a lot to talk about in regards to our friends in Once Upon a Time land. This episode, “It’s Not Easy Being Green”, was full of backstories, varying emotions, and confused/underused Henry. Let’s dive in.

The first post title card scene is of Neal’s funeral, which if you didn’t get from reading Michael Raymond James’ tweets, means he’s really, really gone. I would have liked to see some flashbacks or heard some sad music, but it was pretty upsetting as it was watching all of our favorite characters shovel dirt on his grave. The cut  to a tormented Rumpelstiltskin locked in his cell and unable to properly mourn his son was especially heartbreaking. Robert Carlyle wins one of my awards for tonight’s episode because even though he only had a few words to say in Storybrooke every emotion could be read on his face.  I’ll miss Neal, but at least we got more time with him then some of my other favorites (cough cough Graham and the Mad Hatter). Then Hook comes to Granny’s to whisk Henry away on a boating adventure. Now that Neal’s been buried for about 10 minutes he figures he better start practicing his new role as Henry’s father.

As soon as those two run off, Zelena walks in and challenges Regina to a wizard’s duel and drops the bomb that she’s Reg’s half sister. All in a days work for the town’s new big bad.  Oh and during that time Tink reappears in Storybrooke out of NOWHERE and starts talking to Regina about Robin because she’s really concerned her one time BFF isn’t getting any love. Seriously girl, there are bigger things to worry about right now. All I kept thinking during this entire episode is, “Thank goodness Zelena doesn’t know about Henry or we’d be in some serious trouble.” So Henry’s memory loss may be a good thing in this one case.

Besides the fact that his memory loss saves him from being used against his adopted mommy by a Wicked Witch, it also means Henry gets to spend some time with everyone’s favorite pirate. Hook basically tells Henry nothing about Neal except that he too lost his father at a young age, but that seems to be enough for the kid. Poor Jared S. Gilmore hasn’t had much to do this season besides look wise as he says he knows his mother is trying to protect him and look confused at everything else everyone says. I hope Henry’s memory comes back soon or they find a way to send him back to NY for boarding school or something because his character is starting to get annoying. Which is sad because he used to be one of my favorite kids on television.

Zelena: "Out of my way, munchkin."

This episode really belongs to Zelena as we learn about her past and the reason for her verdigris. Z was abandoned by Cora at birth because Cora knew she wouldn’t become queen. How Cora knew a newborn baby wouldn’t amount to anything is beyond me, but that is what happened. Z is royally pissed at being abandoned by her mother, especially once she learns her sister is a less powerful version of herself.  She gets all this info about her past from the Wizard of Oz because of course we all knew that was coming. Oh and that green skin? It’s a physical representation of Zelena’s all consuming greed over her sister who got everything she ever wanted without even knowing what she had. Rebecca Mader gets my other award of the night because she is doing a  really great job playing both sad, abandoned Zelena and the pure wicked Witch. I am really starting to hate her character which means she’s doing her job.Especially the way she treats Rumple. There is nothing worse than seeing the Dark One basically being toted around on a leash.

This show continues its VERY SUBTLE use of symbolism with Regina’s heart. See Regina goes to the big brawl in the town square sans heart-smart move because apparently Z needs her heart for some kind of new curse. She also already has Charming’s courage. If she only had a brain…my guess is she already stole Snow White’s. (Her line of the night? “I don’t think a sleeping curse would be good for the baby.” GET IT TOGETHER GIRL.) The best part of all this heart related symbolism is WHERE REGINA’S HEART IS HIDING. She left it with a certain suave thief, the only one who also knows the truth about the mysterious letter that led Regina to believe Zelena is her sister. Hint: it’s Robin Hood. GUYS SHE PHYSICALLY GAVE HIM HER HEART. Then Robin asks if she’s afraid he’ll steal it and she says, “You can’t steal something that’s been given to you” and I had a good little squee at that moment.

I have really enjoyed not only these last few episodes, but most of this season of OUAT. The show is as strong as its ever been and the Wicked Witch has been a welcome addition to the cast. The only thing I’m worried about is this idea of a new curse and Zelena’s desire to go back in time to change things. This show is messy enough as it is, I can’t image what time travel might do. I can’t wait for next week not only because Mad Men is coming back, but also because of the Hook-centric episode teased. More Colin O’Donoghue? Yes please.

Final Words:

  • Damn Walsh was the Wizard of Oz?? Point for you, OUAT
  • I really wanted Regina to come to the duel in one of her Enchanted Forest costumes
  • Can I just say that Belle and Rumple’s love story is one of the best on the show? Sure there are plenty of other couples, but they have been through so much and still manage to have faith and fight for each other and that’s something worth noting
  • Also, I’ve never said it before, but Carlyle’s Dark One make-up is stellar

Favorite Lines: 

  • Regina: I think I’d remember if my mother told me she had a love child with a scarecrow.
  • Zelena: You’re insane! Rumple: Besides the point.
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